Resident Evil 7: Casting Call
by dIvInE SeReNiTy
Summary: As preproduction begins on Resident Evil 7 and with an unwritten script as of yet, Capcom holds auditions so as to decide who will be cast in the next installment of their venerable action/survival horror series. Unfortunately, the mixed reception to Resident Evil 6, coupled with the antics of certain cast members may complicate matters well beyond what anybody is expecting.
1. Back into the Fray

**A/N: So let it first be known that this little project started out as an idea in my head, born from way too many late nights spent aimlessly browsing Wikipedia entries. I've always been a fan of the Resident Evil series, having picked up the series starting in Resident Evil 4 and then slowly working my way back through the previous releases and then the subsequent releases in the series. (Not too big a fan of the new action-shooter route they're taking but I'm sticking by them nonetheless) And since I was inspired by the middling and mixed reviews of the latest numerical installment, Resident Evil 6, I decided why not just throw all the RE characters into one story and combine them into some meta all-star ensemble quirky comedy piece. Blame my recent discovery of Arrested Development on Netflix which inspired this piece as well. **

**Consider this also a nice little break from my other main work, an original story set and intertwined with the Mass Effect trilogy. In other words, this is just an excuse for me to go out there and write something silly featuring the cast from Capcom's long-running survival horror franchise. **

**I don't consider myself to the be the ultimate fan who knows every single lore of the Resident Evil series inside and out, so I'll only be utilizing characters from the main, canonical games or the spin-offs that I've had the chance of playing. That includes most of the numerical installments in the franchise and hey, maybe you'll be able to see other recurring characters make a small cameo. **

**So, sit back and I hope you'll enjoy this quirky little piece I've whipped up.**

* * *

**RESIDENT EVIL 7: CASTING CALL**

Chapter 1 – Back into the Fray

The place was a tropical paradise. Pristine beaches, cerulean waters, and clear-blue skies; there was honestly little more that Leon Scott Kennedy could ask for. After the grueling ordeal that was the production of Resident Evil 6 only to have the game garner mixed and polarizing reviews, all he wanted was a nice little vacation to get away from it all. And he did, which was why he's been stuck in this paradise ever since the game was released almost a half year ago. And boy, was every single moment worth it.

Sunlight flittered through the white satin curtains into the luxurious hotel suite which he had been calling home for the past few months. Leon groaned as he turned his head to avert the sun's piercing rays. He was on vacation and right now, not even the sun could tell him when to start his day. Until, that is, when the bedside phone rang.

Leon grabbed a pillow and wrapped it around his ears, hoping to drown the jarring sounds of the phone out. Maybe if he lay there long enough, the phone would stop ringing. There was no such luck. Mumbling something intelligible, he rolled over and reluctantly picked up the receiver.

"Hello…" he muttered, still groggy from sleep.

"Say that again?" What was being said on the other line startled his senses wide awake – enough to cause him to sit upright.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I understand. When do you need us to be there?" several more attentive nods, "Sure, yeah…we'll catch the first flight out." And with that, Leon set the phone down, running a hand through his unnaturally and finely-coiffed hair; still in disbelief over the recent exchange of words.

There's a murmur on the side of the bed next to him and soon, a delicate arm snaked its way around his wai

"Who was that, Leon?"

Helena Harper grunted as she sat up, resting her disheveled face on Leon's shoulder.

"It was from the guys at Capcom. They're sending out casting calls to see who gets to star in Resident Evil 7. They're calling us both in."

At this, Helena immediately perked up, the sleep wiped completely from her eyes. "What? Who else is invited?"

Leon's mind replayed the conversation. "They said they were getting everybody. So that means…" Leon started counting down the previous cast member he's had the 'pleasure' of working with.

_Ada, Claire, Hunnigan, Angela….oh dear God I hope Ashley's not gonna be there._

Leon gulped as the reality of the situation struck him. All his previous 'flings' gathered in one spot. If Helena found out…well, if _all _of them found out, this won't end well for him.

"Umm…yeah. _Everybody's _gonna be there," he managed his best possible smile, trying to play it cool.

At the same time, he knew he was going to be royally screwed.

* * *

Inside what seemed to be a homey-looking kitchen, with a large window that revealed the green, finely-manicured lawns of the suburbs beyond, the phone rang.

"Chris! The phone!" a woman's voice can be heard from somewhere within the kitchen, the owner out of view.

"I got it!"

Heavy footfalls thud down the corridor and a large, hulking man moves towards the phone. Reaching out a heavily-muscular arm sculpted like the Greek god Adonis himself, the man picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Yes, this is Chris Redfield speaking…What? Could you repeat that please?" Chris continued; his tone grave and business-like.

Holding a plate of freshly-baked brownies in her hands, a brunette emerged from the kitchen, eying Chris curiously.

"Yeah, okay. They're with me right now. I'll be sure to let them know. Sounds great! We'll see you there first thing in the morning!" As soon as Chris hung up the phone, his shoulders fell a little as he let out a long, heavy sigh.

"You okay, Chris?" Jill Valentine peered at him in slight concern. "Who was it? It sounded pretty serious."

Chris rubbed his temples. "Let's talk about this in the living room."

The two made their way into the living room, equally as homey as the other parts of the house. Jill set the plate down on the coffee table and the two took a seat next to each other on the couch.

"Claire! Get down here! We've got something important to talk about!" Chris called up the stairs.

Several moments later, a woman whose auburn hair was worn in a ponytail descended the stairs. "What's up, Chris?" Claire asked cheerily, all smiles. "It's not like you to usually yell like this." She plopped down into the chair opposite Jill and Chris. Her smile dissipated somewhat upon seeing the somewhat downcast expression on her brother's face.

"Capcom just called," Chris began. "They're starting work on Resident Evil 7 and they need to cast the lead roles."

Claire's eyes widened somewhat at the news and she leaned forward, eager to hear more of what her brother had to say.

"So they're calling us in to audition for the roles."

"All of us?" Claire said with a small twinkle in her eyes.

"Yes," Chris nodded, somewhat unenthusiastically. "All three of us."

"That's great news!" Jill beamed, turning to Chris. "We've not worked together in one of the numerical installments since the first one! And no, the Resident Evil 5 DLC don't count," Jill countered upon seeing Chris throwing her a funny look.

"Ugh…I don't know. After what happened to me in six…I just don't know if I can take anymore of it," Chris sighed.

"Nonsense! We're like the two longest running veterans in the whole franchise! Can you imagine the star power that the two of us would make?! Come on, Capcom's practically begging for us to star in this new game together!" Jill exclaimed excitedly.

"If you ask me," Claire interjected, somewhat affronted, "I think they're trying to bring back some of the old cast. They did it with Sherry, and since we were both in Resident Evil Two, that means they're going to pick me next."

"Girls, calm down," Chris said, defusing the argument. "In any case, I think the only thing that could save the franchise at this point is if they made this next game into an all-star ensemble."

"An all-star ensemble…" the two women murmured simultaneously.

_In that case, then Leon's probably going to be there! Gosh, it's been ages since we last saw each other. I wonder what he's up to these days. _Claire thought, unable to contain the giddy excitement rising up in her.

"You don't seem to thrilled about the prospect," Jill looked over to Chris.

"Well, I mean…" Chris leaned back against the couch as he tried to find the right words to say, "The previous game took a lot outta me, you know. And I just feel so burned out right now."

"Come on, Chris. It's not going to end up like six again. In any case, it'll just be like Revelations, I promise! If not for yourself, then do it for me!" Jill said, leaning into Chris and resting her hands on his leg.

"It'll be a lot more fun if you were there with me, brother. It'll be just like the good ol' days. You know, just like Code: Veronica. Remember how much fun we had doing that game?" Claire chimed in.

Chris closed his eyes, mulling it over. "Capcom did say they're getting everyone together again," he sighed, finally relenting. "So if it means seeing and working together with the old gang," he shrugged, "Why the hell not, right? Count me in!"

The two women let out a jubilant cry as Jill planted a kiss on his lips while Claire rounded the couch to pull her brother into a crushing hug.

* * *

Ada Wong sat at an outdoor patio at a European café somewhere, enjoying her afternoon meal. As she sipped on her cup of tea, she watched as people strolled on by. Returning her attention to the open magazine on her table, her eyes picked out a variety of spy gadgets and equipment that caught her fancy. Sure, Resident Evil Six may not be the blockbuster success that Four was, but she wasn't complaining too much about the pay. After all, it was more than enough to fund her shopping habits for quite some time. And she did recently hear that Neiman Marcus was putting a fire sale on that new, red dress that she'd been eying for quite some time. If she still couldn't afford it, well, I guess nobody would pay it much mind if the dress so happened to _mysteriously disappear. _

She heard the telltale ringing of her phone in her fancy leather purse (yet another one of her opulent purchases) and fished for it.

"Just where is that damn phone?" she cursed, as she continued digging through the contents of the bag until she finally found it. It was the pyramidal-shaped glass smartphone that they let her keep after they wrapped up production on Six. She did have some reservations about the design at first, but to hell with it, she remembered, the phone looked _cool. _

"Ada Wong speaking," she answered curtly and assumed her usual professional demeanor. "Who is this?"

She let the person on the other end of the line chatter on until she was sure he had finished. "I see. When are you scheduled to start?" The person chattered on again. "Understood. I'll be there," she nodded.

With a flick of her wrist, she snapped shut her phone and rose out of her seat. Taking one last swig from her tea, she pulled her grappling gun out of her purse and pointed it at the nearest ledge she could spot. Squeezing the trigger, the grappling hook shot out and latched on to the ledge before reeling her upwards and away from the startled crowds on the ground.

The waiter at the café even came rushing out of the store, staring skywards and angrily shaking his balled fists at her.

"Silly me. Guessed I forgot to pay for the check again," she murmured. "Oh well, duty calls."

Sometimes she wondered if she could ever get used to getting around like those normal folks down there ever again. The grappling gun was simply too much fun to ever give up.

* * *

A man sat broodingly in a darkened room, the only source of light coming from the various computer screen displays in front of him. The faint, red glow of the screens casted a ghostly and menacing silhouette over him.

"So they're starting production on Resident Evil 7 without me, it would seem," he remarked in smug and condescending tone.

"Look at those fools. So they tried producing Six without me…and looked where it got them! A lukewarm reception, polarizing reviews; the fools at Capcom are running their franchise right into the ground."

The man let out a dark, humorless chuckle. "Well then, I believe it's about time I made a reappearance and enlighten these pitiful mortals on the error of their ways."

The clicking of keyboard keys can be heard echoing in the dark, enclosed room. The display screens come to life and display a roster of various faces – all of them cast members from the previous games.

"So…they've sent out the casting calls for the lead roles, have they?"

He read through the roster, absent-mindedly mumbling out the names as he went.

"Kennedy…Birkin…Valentine….Coen…Wong…_Redfield_." His voice was literally seething with venom as he uttered the last name on the roster.

The man swiveled around on his chair. "Well, not if –" the chair swiveled a full 360 instead, causing him to face the screen again. He tried it again, this time successfully. He cleared his throat.

"Not if I –" the man rose from the chair and stepped into view. The slicked-back blonde hair, the trench coat, and the pair of eyes that glow malevolently behind the ubiquitous shades – there was no mistaking it.

" – ALBERT WESKER can help it."

Wesker strode towards the viewer but paused mid-step, just remembering something. He doubled back towards the array of screens and pulled up another window, this time showing the hidden camera that he implanted in the Redfield's household.

"I must say, I am awfully curious to see if Valentine's baking skills have improved from when I first enslaved her."

* * *

**A/N: And there you have it, the first chapter that'll set the scene for what will (hopefully) be a journey full of misadventures, mischief, toil and trouble. I've taken particular care to keep the characters consistent to their personality and traits in-game, but since this is kind of a meta-fic, I will occasionally be taking some creative liberties with the characters; but rest assure, I won't go too far out of character. And besides, since this all happens out of the game, really it's anybody's guess as to what these characters do in their downtime when they're not busy trying to survive or stop a viral outbreak. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed this as much as I had such gleeful fun writing this piece. I'm not sure if I'll update this as often, as I'll probably update this when the mood strikes me since I'm working full time on another fic. **

**Still, thanks for reading! =D **


	2. The Gang's All Here

**A/N: Here you guys go, another installment in RE7: Casting Call. Thanks for the reviews and the support for the first chapter! I really appreciate it!**

**Anyways, hope y'all enjoy this chapter as I start laying down the foundation for all sorts of wacky situations that I'm about to write all these characters into. =D**

* * *

**RESIDENT EVIL 7: CASTING CALL**

Chapter 2 – The Gang's All Here

A rather luxurious taxi cab pulled up front of what looked to be an ordinary office building. Moments later, Leon and Helena got out of the cab, attired in their regular, pre-China service outfits from the previous game.

"You know, I still don't quite get the memo of why they told us to come in wearing the same outfits that we did in six," Helena remarked, somewhat puzzled by the request.

"No kidding," Leon groaned, sweltering on the inside as his fashionable leather jacket combo baked him alive in the hot afternoon.

He squinted against the midday sun at the building they now stood in front of. The blue-outlined and yellow-fonted words of 'CAPCOM' were emblazoned on the top of the building.

"Well, here we are," Leon fished out his phone and looked up the latest correspondence they got from Capcom. "Says here that we have to report to Production Stage 6 – to hell with this, I'm taking the damn jacket off." And as he proceeded to strip said garment off, a lone girl in the parking lot caught this sight and exclaimed shrilly.

Leon looked at the girl, his eyes widening in alarm. He looked around him. "Helena, get inside _now!"_

Helena was already walking into the building ahead of him. "Way ahead of you, Leon." He ran up to her and bodily shoved her through the set of double doors before locking it behind him.

"Hey, what's the big idea?"

As Leon turned around to see beyond the glass doors, a swarm of rabid fangirls were already gathering in numbers around the lone girl and they were making a beeline towards the door. Thankfully, the door held against the onslaught as each of the girls pressed themselves against the glass to catch a better view of their hunky male protagonist.

"Oh, just…just keep on walking, Helena. Nothing to see back here," Leon ushered her on, heaving a huge sigh of relief.

"So, I'm excited to see who else of the previous cast members we're meeting. Bet you have a lot of history with some of them," Helena clapped her hands in excitement.

Despite the innocuous nature of the way she mentioned it, Leon couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, _history_. Good one," he scratched the back of his head anxiously as they paced through the generic-looking main reception area. After inquiring one of the receptionists for information, the two set off for the production stage.

* * *

Claire Redfield looked around the production stage, now a hive of activity as stage hands and other crew members scrambled about to prepare the stage. She spotted a blonde-haired girl in the distance, milling aimlessly about as she watched the technicians work. Claire noted something awfully familiar about her though. She decided to approach the blonde.

"Sherry? Sherry Birkin?" Claire asked, as it was the first words to spring to the forefront of her mind.

The girl in question whirled around, eyes widening in slight surprise and then recognition before the gleam in her eyes erupted into pure bliss.

"Claire?"

"Oh my god it is you!" the two exclaim as they embrace each other in a tangle of writhing bodies and elated banshee shrieks. It was the type of hug that only BFF sorority sisters were capable of.

The commotion got the attention of the entire production stage. They whirled around to see what the hullaballoo was all about before shrugging and returning to their tasks.

"Sherry! I haven't seen you since we did Resident Evil Two! I saw Capcom bringing you back in six and wow, did you kick some serious ass!" Claire gasped, still in disbelief and somewhat breathless.

"Thanks, Claire!" Sherry giggled. "Well, what can I say. You showed me the ropes back in Raccoon, remember? I only learn from the best," Sherry winked as she lightly elbowed her sister figure.

Claire cleared her throat and batted a playfully inquisitive look. "So, who's the new hunk I've seen you arrive with? Found yourself a new boyfriend or something?"

"Well actually he's –"

"What's this I hear about a boyfriend, Claire?!"

Before Sherry could even get off a reply, Chris comes stomping over towards the two girls. Flustered, he crossed his arms and fixed his younger sister with a reproachful and questioning glare.

"Chris, will you just relax?" Claire giggled. "It's not what you think it is. Sherry and I were just talking about – "

Now, before Claire could finish her words, the large doors to the production stage were banged open with a flourish. The noise startled one of the stage hands holding several cages of white doves and before anyone knew it, the doves flew over the stage doors, inadvertently striking a majestic scene as the new arrivals stepped into the stage.

"Ah…it's good to be back!" Leon exclaimed, inhaling deeply.

"Leon…" Claire muttered absent-mindedly as she stared at her former co-star.

"Leon ey?" Chris's mind jumped to conclusions as he warily eyed the finely-coiffed curtain haired man. From behind Leon's back, another woman emerged – Chris recognized Helena Harper immediately. Chris turned to Claire and saw that her smile had fallen somewhat as she too saw the new girl accompanying Leon. Brotherly instincts kicked in and sent him hurtling towards the no-good, douchebag Kennedy.

"Boyfriend? Not on my watch, you don't."

Leon turned around in time to see Chris approaching and opened his arms in greeting.

"Hey, Chris! How's your vacation – Chris, you alright?"

Leon's look of joy slowly dissipated into anxious concern as the ripped former STARS agent strode briskly towards him.

"So, you and Harper are an item now are you?" Chris squared off against Leon, their faces only inches away from one another. His voice remained calm, but everybody could tell that barely-concealed fury seethed beneath it.

"How'd you know?!" A look of alarm flitted across the latter's features. "Doesn't matter, just keep it down, will you?" Leon hissed. "Nobody knows about us two yet and yes, I was going to tell everybody about it sooner or later."

"Don't suppose if you've told Claire about it yet, have you?"

"Wait what? Claire?" Leon did a small double take. "Well, I mean, yeah, I was going to tell her eventually but –"

That little line proved to be the last straw for the elder Redfield.

"That's it, you punk," he growled menacingly, balling his fists.

Chris lashed out with a right hook, hoping to wipe the smug and clueless look off of Leon's face. Fortunately, Leon saw the move coming and ducked right beneath it.

"Jesus, Chris! What the hell?!" Leon cried out in alarm.

However, Chris wasn't paying attention to the Secret Service agent. His gaze was held at the individual now standing in front of him, effortlessly gripping his outstretched arm in one hand.

"Hello there, Chris," Wesker drawled, grinning.

"Wesker! What the hell are you still doing here? Didn't we kill you off in Five?" Chris broke free of Wesker's vice-like grip with a mighty grunt of effort. Clearly, the two men were neither nostalgic nor amused to see one another again.

"Chris, the director wanted to meet with you – Wesker?" Jill exclaimed as she joined the confrontation. Her hands instinctively went for her pistol holster, only to find it conspicuously missing.

"Ms. Valentine. Always a pleasure to see you again. Although I must say I preferred it when you were blonde," Wesker acknowledged Jill.

"Yeah, because blondes are the only genetically superior race in your eyes? I don't think so," she retorts sarcastically.

"Anyways, stand down, you two. You needn't worry about me; I'm not here for the both of you. I have other, more _important_ matters to attend to."

"Yeah, what else could be more important than total world domination?" Chris kept his shoulders hunched to react at a moment's notice while he intensely watching his former STARS captain for any sudden movements.

"I heard that casting calls were put out for Resident Evil 7, and I for one, intend for the game to be a success this time," Wesker explained. "Hence, my return to the role of the game's main antagonist," he gestured with a grand, sweeping motion.

Jill and Chris looked on in disbelief while rolling their eyes at their captain's Shakespearean theatrical antics.

"So you're trying to retcon yourself back into the game's continuity? That's the most absurd thing since our fight in the volcano and you know it! There's no way Capcom will stand for this!" Chris retorted.

"Oh, do they? Well, not if _I _have anything to say about it," Wesker grinned malevolently.

* * *

Leaving behind the two arch-nemeses to settle a score which didn't concern him, Leon brushed himself off and continued further inside the stage. Helena was close by, concernedly dotting over him. To his slight embarrassment, it took him several attempts to convince her that he was unharmed.

"Hey there, lover boy."

Leon slowly whirled around to greet the owner of the mysterious yet flirtatious voice.

"Ada?"

"You guessed right," Ada Wong sashayed out of the shadows generated by a conveniently-placed stack of crates. She was dressed in a somewhat revealing red Oriental dress, reminiscent of her outfit in Resident Evil Four. "It's been a while. Hope you haven't gotten yourself into too much trouble since we last met," she crossed over to Leon and lightly brushed her arms against his. He could literally feel goosebumps across his skin.

"It's…it's good to see you too, Ada," Leon stammered, suddenly unsure of himself; the way he always felt when he was around her.

She stood there, as if almost waiting for a knight in shining armor to pick her up and carry her off into the sunset. Leon knew he'd give anything to be that knight.

"Ms. Wong, always nice to see you too," Helena cleared her throat and spoke in a professional-like manner. Try as she might though, she was unable to hide all of her displeasure at the spy's advances on Leon.

"Ah yes, Ms. Harper. I'm glad to see you two together after production wrapped up on Six," she nodded coolly. "I wish the best for the both of you; Leon can have very _fickle_ tastes at time," Ada continued nonchalantly.

"Excuse me?" Helena cocked an eyebrow.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" she motioned towards the exasperated Leon. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to report in to wardrobe. I'll catch you around, Leon."

As Ada took her leave, Leon tried his absolute best to avoid Helena's piercing gaze. "Some reunion, huh? Looks like the gang's all back together," he muttered, desperately trying to change the subject. His worst fears were materializing, and he had only been here for less than 10 minutes.

"Leon?" another feminine voice called out. He groaned inwardly; looks like there was not going to be an end in sight to his women troubles.

He slowly turned around to face the homey and radiant face of Claire Redfield. She extended a hand towards Helena. "I don't think we've met before but the name's Claire. Claire Redfield," she smiled warmly.

Helena returned the gesture out of politeness, but she remained apprehensive of this new woman who, as Helena was starting to learn, also looked as though she shared much of a history with Leon.

"Helena Harper, it's nice to meet you too, Claire – wait, Redfield? So you're Chris's sister?"

"Yep, as much as I'm embarrassed to be related to a big shot like him," she joked light-heartedly.

"If that's the case, then tell that _big shot_ over there," she pointed to said person now in a stand-off against a blonde man in a trenchcoat, "that he can't randomly go around punching people in the face."

"He did what?" Claire's eyes widened in shock. She turned to Leon, looking for confirmation.

"Yeah, no idea what came over the big guy. He came close to caving my face in," Leon scratched the back of his head. "But it's all just one big misunderstanding, I'm sure!" he added quickly as he noticed Claire's smile slowly turning into a frown.

"If you'll excuse me for a second, I need to have a talk with my brother. Leon, if you're not too busy later, we need to catch up," and with that said, Claire made a bee-line towards her brother, a scowl etched on her face.

"What was that all about?" Helena asked, now genuinely puzzled by the recent turn of events. "Has it always been this crazy with you people around here?"

"You have no idea," Leon groaned as he face-palmed himself.

* * *

"If you want to retcon yourself back into the continuity, it'll have to be over my dead body. After everything that you've put us through, don't think I'll make this easy on you, Wesker," Chris growled; his fists at the ready as he assumed a fighting stance.

"Why can't things ever be simple with you, Redfield?" Wesker sighed in mock exasperation, adjusting his shades. "But since you insisted, I'll be more than happy to oblige," the blonde said, cracking his knuckles.

"Jill, get ready!"

"Right!"

"You do know that this will only be a repeat of what occurred in the Spencer Estate, don't you?" Wesker taunted.

The entire production stage had come to a standstill as everybody kept their eyes fixed on the slowly-brewing storm that was the confrontation between Wesker and Chris. Moments away before they duked it out…

"Gah!" Chris yelped out in pain.

"Christopher Redfield, what do you think you're doing?" Claire chided him as she tugged at his ear. "Day one on the set and you're already starting trouble. Punching Leon in the face and now you're going to do the same to Wesker here too?"

Jill and Wesker exchanged puzzled looks with one another at the sudden intrusion. But before any of them could process the recent turn of events, the production stage doors squealed open once again.

"So, after years of looking, who would have thought that the deadbeat would come right to me?"

Everyone's attention shifted to the new arrival. Wesker, not usually fazed by surprises, couldn't help but do a small double take.

"Hey there, Dad. It's been a while."

Jake Muller stood in the doorway, hands on his hips and looking none too pleased at his father.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read! And well, if you feel like it, I'll be more than happy to hear what you guys think of where this story's gonna go so far. I don't really have anything concrete written up for the next few chapters yet apart from several self-sustained arcs so we'll just see how things play out. **

**See ya next time! **


	3. The Director

**A/N: This chapter's way too long overdue. Anyways, I'm not sure if anybody's still following up on this, but regardless, here's another update. **

**Also, my intent is to keep each character intact to their personality in-game. None of that OOC-ness because I find it'd make for much more hilarious situations when contrasted with the humdrum nature of reality. **

**Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you Chapter 3!**

* * *

**RESIDENT EVIL 7: CASTING CALL**

Chapter 3 – The Director

"Tch," Jake scoffed. "Ever the megalomaniac, I see."

Intrigued by the young man in front of him, Wesker took his attention off Chris and slowly seized the other man up. He tipped his sunglasses forward, exposing the glowing irises of his eyes as Wesker appraised Jake. "And just who might you be? I fear that you've mistaken me for somebody else."

"Great, and he doesn't even recognize his own son," Jake rolled his eyes. "So I come all this way to find out my dad's a deadbeat. Honestly, why am I not even surprised?" he threw his hands up in exasperation.

"I'll repeat myself once again," Wesker gritted his teeth. He was starting to get annoyed by this young man's brashness. "You've _clearly _mistaken me for someone else, so I suggest taking your grievances with your father to the man who rightly deserves it. What!?" Wesker whirled around to face Chris as the elder Redfield cleared his throat.

"You do know that _is _your son, right?" Chris shot him a funny look.

"You had a son?" his equally perplexed sister quipped, hand still tightly clamped on Chris's ear.

"Wait, let me get this straight. Our former captain, the great Albert Wesker actually fathered a child?" Jill folded her arms, this sudden revelation stunning her as well. "Well, prior to that, you must have been in a _relationship_ with a woman, correct?" she narrowed her eyes skeptically.

It was never any concern to what regards others held Wesker in, but somehow, the implication of Jill's words stung. "D-did you…" he sputtered, "Did you honestly think I was that hopeless when it came to matters of love and relationships?"

Jill and Chris simply stood there and shrugged. This infuriated him even more.

"To be honest, women really find your whole 'total-world-domination-complex' a turn-off," Chris replied, highlighting Wesker's obvious personality flaw in air quotes.

"That, and the fact that you love your shades more than you do us women," Jill added, sniggering.

"Do you take me for a fool, Chris or is this another one of your lame attempts at a joke?" Wesker growled. He did not come here to have his love life belittled and put under scrutiny. "I thought that open mic night at J's Bar was enough to prove that you made a better pointman than a stand-up comic?"

This time, it was Claire's turn to have her curiosity piqued while Jill stifled a laugh.

"I never knew you did stand-up comedy, Chris," she relinquished her grip on her brother's ear as she mischievously searched his eyes for truth to those words.

The elder Redfield's eyes widened in embarrassment as his mind wandered back to that horrible and drunken night. He shook the thought away and refocused on the matter at hand. "Stop running away from the truth, Wesker! We know about you and Ms. Muller, and of how she was with your child when she left you to return home to Edonia. That's your son standing right there."

"Impossible!" the usually stoic former STARS captain replied, the smallest quiver of doubt present in his voice. "I would have known if Estelle was pregnant!" Wesker shot back upon regaining his composure. His fists clenched as every fiber of his being itched to silence Chris there and then. The man simply talked too much for his own good.

"Deny it all you want, Dad but that still doesn't change the fact that you have a son," Jake stabbed an accusing finger at him. "Oh, and the feeling's mutual – I don't like this any more than you do, you deadbeat piece of crap."

Those final few words were the last straw. Wesker turned his attention onto his son, nostrils flaring.

"Enough!"

The next few moments were a blur as the blonde, bespectacled man lunged at Jake with inhuman speed. Taking the young man by surprise, he seized him by the throat and lifted him off the ground with ease.

"What the?!" Jake squirmed in Wesker's crushing grip.

"Wesker!" Chris yelled out as both he and Jill made to lunge at their former captain in unison.

They had yet to reach him before Jake lashed out with a savage kick; the blow catching Wesker right in the face. The force of the kick was enough to faze him – which was surprising, given the fact that he was able to shrug off almost any physical attack, barring the strongest of Chris's haymakers – causing him to drop Jake to the ground. That strength…could it really be that Jake was truly his biological son?

"I've had enough of you and your meddlesome posse, Chris!" Wesker spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground before continuing, "My only intent in coming here was to have a nice little chat with Capcom's production team about my role in the next installment but it seems even you couldn't grant me that. Well, I figured it's time to take you out of the equation once and for all!" Malice laced every single word of his threat. "And for once, I'm glad your sister is here. I'm sure she'd enjoy watching you squirm as I crush the life out of you, Chris…" Wesker trailed off, as he suddenly staggered on his feet.

"Urk!"

The blonde grunted in pain, his voice somehow several pitches higher than normal.

Somehow, Claire had made her way behind Wesker and delivered a crushing kick between his legs, causing the superhuman blonde to crumble to the floor. A collective wince of pain went around the room. She casually swept a stray lock of auburn hair behind her ears after making short work of her brother's nemesis.

"Nobody threatens my brother!" she quipped to the man splayed on the ground. An awkward silence descended upon the room after Wesker's destructive spree was put to a sudden end. "Oh, and that was for leaving me at Rockfort Island too," she added for good measure.

"Claire, you do know that there's some things that even the top brass at Capcom have declared off-limits," Chris began.

"And that was one of them?"

Chris could only wordlessly nod as he struggled to process what just transpired. It took his sister all but a span of a few seconds to accomplish what had taken him years to do.

"Yep, he's out cold," Jill called out as she checked for a pulse. "But I don't think it was because of that kick though – even as much as I'd think that the bastard had it coming."

"It's not?" he raised his brow, puzzled.

"Nope, it's actually this," his longtime partner plucked an object from Wesker's neck and held a small tranquilizer dart between her fingers. "It's empty."

No doubt drawn by all the commotion, Leon and Helena turned up, only to be further puzzled by sight of the aftermath of Wesker's confrontation.

"Hey, Jake! Good to see you're back!" Leon traded greetings with the man in question before addressing the white elephant – or rather, the blonde man lying unconscious on the floor. "So what the hell just happened here? We heard some sort of fight going on."

"That girl right there just kneed my Dad in the groin," Jake motioned to Claire in wide-eyed amazement. "Took him out for six."

Leon could only gulp on hearing Jake's words. If Claire was capable of putting Wesker to the ground, he'd hate to think what she'd be able to do to him if he got on her wrong side. _Thank goodness it's only Helena I need to worry about right now. _

"All right, everybody make room!" a voice boomed from one end of the room.

The stagehands and crowd parted to reveal a plain Oriental man, his features hinting at a Japanese heritage, dressed simply in jeans and a plain black shirt. Nevertheless, he must be a man of import, as attested by the air of reverence that he garnered from the production staff in the lot. Slung across his shoulders is a tranquilizer rifle, no doubt the one used to subdue Wesker.

"Albert Wesker really is starting to prove more trouble than he's worth," he sighed, the melodic and lyrical twang of a Japanese accent coloring his voice. "The minute he hears word of preproduction and already he's on our doorsteps hounding us…and creating trouble too. Remind me to thank Ms. Gionne for developing the countermeasure to Mr. Wesker's condition."

He stepped into the center of the crowd, one foot placed victorious over Wesker's unconscious body, not unlike a pose a proud hunter would strike after downing his game.

"Good morning, everyone!"

This earns a chorus of good mornings in reply, and a couple of confused looks from the cast members. He flashed the most genial of all smiles before getting down to business.

"I'm sure most of the cast members haven't seen me before but allow me to introduce myself. I'm Hideo Kojima." The look of confusion on the Resident Evil protagonists face deepened. "No, I'm just messing with you all!" he snickered heartily. "Seriously though, I'm Edei Takeshi, or you can just call me Ed, and I'm the guy who will be serving as lead director on Resident Evil 7!"

This earns him a round of applause and whoops from the crowd while the cast members nod in understanding. Ed graciously pauses until the din dies down before resuming, "Capcom has seen it fit to appoint me as the man who will restore the Resident Evil franchise to its former glory."

"You mean after the disappointment that was Resident Evil 6 which most of us here worked our butts off working on?" Leon couldn't help but quip. It was a grievance he held – and rightly so since the previous installment did somewhat burn him out. It was the most grueling game to produce yet out of the entire installment, what not with all the grand scope and spectacular set-pieces and yet, the sales of the game worldwide didn't quite reflect all the work that went into it.

The director took the criticism in stride as he nodded understandingly. "Yes, I do believe that we had tried to accomplish too much in Six, to the point where we lost the franchise's identity along the way. I'd like to think Michael Bay was to blame for this – I'm guessing all those explosions must have informed the mindsets of the top brass at Capcom."

"Hey, but I love his Transformers movies!" a voice piped up from somewhere in the crowd.

Ed unslung his rifle, took aim, and fired off a shot at the source of the voice. Leon gulped, realizing how close he came to rubbing Ed the wrong way. Deeming the heretic sufficiently taken care of, Ed cleared his throat, "Now, where was I? Right! As I was saying, they've listened to the critics and deemed that plentiful explosions do not make for a good game. Therefore, they've entrusted me with the vision to bring Resident Evil back to its survival horror roots with its next numerical installment."

"Oh, like Amnesia: The Dark Descent?" another unnamed voice quipped.

"NO!" he brought the rifle down across his knees, snapped it in half and chucked it at the guy unlucky enough to earn Ed's fury. "Nobody will DARE even mention any word of our competition in this lot! EVER!" The fit of rage subsided as quickly as it came; Ed was all smiles again as he continued, "Anyways, we now know what works and what doesn't, so we'll be building our next numerical installment through all the lessons we've learnt from Six."

"You sure about this guy?" Jill leaned in close to Chris, apprehension written all over her face.

"I-I guess he's a little _weird_ but the brass must have chosen him for a reason," Chris mirrored her doubts.

"Okay…"

"So, with all that said, I look forward to working with you all!" Ed clapped his hands in a show of concluding his little speech. "Oh, and one more thing, this one directed especially to the cast members." His sanguine smile that came off as a little bit disturbing sent shivers running down their spines. "I don't do things like what the previous directors are typically used to; I prefer more…_unconventional _approaches when it comes to shooting scenes." There's a gleam of twisted delight in his eyes as he mentions it, enough to send a pit of ice dropping into the bowels of the most stalwart of the cast members. "Just a little heads-up, but I'm sure it won't be too much trouble for veterans of the franchise like yourselves!"

And with that, the director took his leave, dragging an unconscious Wesker out with him.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to start work on my comeback! It's been too long since I was in a game!" Claire squealed with delight.

With everyone filled with dread of the production schedule to come; nobody could bring themselves to break the younger Redfield's bubble of joy.

"Here we go again," Leon groaned.

* * *

**A/N: And scene! Woo hoo! The plot thickens! What ever will happen next to the unsuspecting cast and crew of Resident Evil 7 now that a new director is in town? Stay tuned to find out! **

**In all seriousness though, this was such a fun little creative exercise as I'm able to just subject all these wonderful characters to the devious schemes and scenarios that my mind concocts. I don't exactly have a clear idea on where to take the characters next, but we'll just see how everything plays out. **

**Hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll see you in the next update! **


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